Four Stars by Joel Golby
Author:Joel Golby [Golby, Joel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2024-04-15T00:00:00+00:00
ASKING A FRIEND FOR MONEY THAT HE TECHNICALLY OWES YOU BUT ITâS BEEN QUITE A LONG TIME NOW AND YOU FEEL AWKWARD BRINGING IT UP EVEN THOUGH IS IT YOUR MONEY AND ALSO YOUR NEED FOR THE MONEY IS NOW GREATER THAN WHEN YOU FIRST LENT IT, WHICH IN ITSELF IS EMBARRASSING, EVEN THOUGH AGAIN: IT IS YOUR MONEY
I saw Pete waiting outside the Tube station for a bus and though I thought about turning around and hiding in a shop or something there wasnât really any suitable shop there â just a kiosk that sells sweets and cigarettes and newspapers to an audience of nobody, and thatâs not an actual shop itâs just a stand, and though I did try to hide in it for a second I rapidly realised that wasnât really working, plus I knocked a load of Fruit Pastilles over and had to pick them up off the floor and the guy was like âleave it, leave it, leave it PLEASE, just LEAVE IT!â, like he was getting quite agitated at me personally despite my very clear attempts to help â and also Pete had spotted me and started taking his headphones out so I bit the inside of my mouth down really hard then smiled then walked over and said âHiâ and then âHow Are Youâ. He said he was good.
âIâve been meaning to text you actually. We were all talking about you at Ed Warburtonâs housewarming party.â
âEd Warburton has a house?â
âYeah he bought it with his fiancée.â
âHe bought it?â
âYeah. Up in Green Lanes.â
âHow did Ed Warburton buy a house?â
âI donât know. With money? Heâs been really busy. Plus he got that book deal. Itâs really good to see you!â
â and all the air escapes my lungs, and the ton of metal that sits atop of my head at all times doubles in size, and the colours were sucked from the sky, and a bus in a faded shade of red whirred past me as my heart pumped hard in my neck. Of course, of course, of course. The universe is a complicated joke where I am the sole living punchline. Ed Warburton has a book deal.
âI thought you stopped hanging out with him, anyway?â
âNo. Edâs a nice guy.â
âI know but I thought I told you that I hated him. That heâs a hack, a talentless hack. And heâs my mortal enemy.â
âI thought that was a joke.â
âWhy would I joke about that?â
âSo you really wanted me to stop hanging out with Ed Warburton, a guy whose stag do I went on, because you donât like him very much since they gave him your TV column?â
âItâs a different column, but yes.â
âJoel, thatâs like. Thatâs insane.â
That helped. I told him he still owed me £500 from that time he started a vintage hat reselling business in the exact month the terms and conditions of his student overdraft changed and that I would like it back now please, and a bank transfer is fine, and even though he
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